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The tools

I've written before about how it hurts my spirit to hear someone say, "I'm not creative like that."

For many years I wouldn't call myself an artist.  I would say I make stuff or I'd describe my work very specifically.  "I'm not an artist.  I carve and paint furniture."  See, my DAD is an artist.  I've seen his work hanging in a museum.  I've seen his monuments in many places around the country.  But, that's not what I could do.

I used to love when he'd let me watch him work.  I could have stood in one place for hours watching him carve clay to be cast into bronze.  I could have stood in the freezing cold wearing his spare welding helmet for days just to watch that metal fuse together into something that never existed before except in his imagination.

I wish I'd done it more.  I didn't understand that his not talking to me while he worked didn't mean he didn't want me standing there.  It didn't mean he wished I'd go find something else to do.  It meant he trusted me to watch and learn if I was interested, that art was something I might find on my own one day.

And I have.

So, when my friend said, "I wish I were creative like you," I introduced her to a paintbrush.  You have to start somewhere.  One tool at a time.  One finished piece at a time.

No judgments about how it doesn't look like that poster I saw at the Hallmark store.  No self-flogging for not having the impact of the work I saw that someone else made.  It's just the process of exploring what you didn't know your mind could do.  It's the experience of making it a year down the road, looking back at the first thing you ever made and saying, "WOW!  That was a pretty good start, but look how much I've already discovered!"

When I see all my potions lined up in this picture, when I see the brushes, the water jar, the ribbons, and the papers... I see potential.  They are not the stuff of snake-oil salesmen, promises that can't possibly be fulfilled.  They are the ingredients that I get to mix in dribs and drabs with my ideas and feelings to create something new that never existed before except in MY imagination.

Becoming a creative person means becoming a curious person who wants to know what would happen if...

It means having courage to practice with all the tools in the toolbox, knowing that some of the creations will be the ones you paint over to try again; but, none of the creations are failures.  Not ONE.

Will my work ever sell?  I don't know if I'll go down that road again.  Will people seek me out to create special pieces for them?  Maybe from time to time.  Will my work ever hang on a gallery wall?  Doubftul.

Now, with no audience in mind while I work, I claim the title Artist.  I embrace the experiments, the re-paints and the ones I hang on the wall. 

Comments

  1. PamJune 21, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    For the past 6 or 7 years I have been asked to create an altar for a fundraiser that a local church I once belonged to sponsors. The altars are displayed in a local theater for a month and movie goers are invited to bid on them, silent auction style. At the end of the month, a big party is held and the "artists" are invited/expected to be a part of the evening. The artists are given a nametag with ARTIST emblazoned across it with your name beneath it. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable I was wearing that little moniker. A woman I did not know asked how long I'd been an artist. I felt like such an imposter. Still do, truth be told. One woman's experience with seeing the creative self for the amazing spirit it generally is..

    ReplyDelete
  2. LindaJune 22, 2010 at 11:55 PM

    Maybe we should all be given name tags that say ARTIST? I read somewhere that so many people marry or befriend "artists" because they can't claim it for themselves. So often would-be writers marry "real" writers. Maybe if we wore ARTIST name tags from birth on, we'd all come to the point of claiming and owning our artist selves.

    ReplyDelete
  3. DayJune 23, 2010 at 5:30 PM

    I'm glad people befriend artists... for whatever reason they do... because that way I get some friends!

    ReplyDelete

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