A few weeks ago I found this photo online and had planned to do a blog entry about thorns and roses and all that Hallmarky stuff. I was going to write about the unknown future... will I get a job or not? will my family be able to stand me during my transition back to work?
But then I went online this morning in search of a hat.
EGADS!
A couple of weeks ago my friend and I drove into D.C. to Eastern Market so I could visit a hat vendor I'd seen last year. I tried on every single hat with absolutely no luck. The sun hasn't gotten any cooler so the search continued today.
First of all, you should know that the reason I always wear a baseball cap in the summer is that apparently designers think that only men are allowed to have huge heads. So, all the dainty, pretty, feminine hats that also protect your face and neck from the sun only come in small sizes... well, I should say normal sizes. That means that women like me, whose height already might place them in the category of the Amazons, are relegated to searching for hats in the MEN'S department.
Now, I actually prefer to shop for pajamas in the men's department because that's the place where the men's clothing industry has gotten it right, but HATS? Basically my choices at the moment are ball cap, felt fedora, or straw tourist hat with a cheap hawaiian print band. UGH!
So, this morning my online search yielded three XL women's hats -- all cute and affordable -- and all.... too...... small.
Decisions, decisions, decisions. YES! This is a decision, because it turns out that some very nice, detail-oriented, math-driven designer has actually posted online a FREE hat pattern! (Math-driven because the pattern actually includes the symbol for Pi!) It looks beautiful -- probably because it's sewn by a professional -- but complicated as hell.
So, do I spend the money, gambling that the outcome will be something I actually wear in public or do I live contentedly with my red Washington Nationals hat? So... here's the advice from YEARNINGS:
"If we're really honest with ourselves when we look back on our lives, we can see that all our decisions, large and small, were made from a place of uncertainty and sometimes profound conflict." "And in the end we must act on faith, not that it will all work out as we want but that our best guess is good enough, that it will somehow lead us to a place of discovery, of new perspective, of a wider self."
Who knew deciding whether to build -- and it is a construction project -- a hat could have so much meaning?
I see a book in the making here--philosophizing about hats! Have you ever read Love Loss and What I Wore? Pam saw the play in New York--and loved it. Who'd a thunk you'd be writing philosophy, you who when you were ten used to come in from school and ask her mama, "Are you STILL reading philosophy, Mom?" And now, look, your mom is reading philosophy on her daughter's blog--and loving it!
ReplyDelete