When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I have not a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me. :::Erma Bombeck:::
I think that if you have ever felt the power of the River of In-Spir-ation, you'll know what I mean when I say that allowing it to flow through you is nothing if not empowering. When I was little and I'd sit at our round oak table and cut dresses from magazines and then trace them and create a new pattern for the fabric, or when I'd get into my mom's scrap bag and make myself a costume, or when I'd build an imaginary world for myself... those were the times I learned to live life the way I should. (I'd hazard a guess that maybe it's the way we all should live our lives, but I don't want to be presumptuous because I haven't met all the people yet.) Those were the times that I lived without regard for what anyone else thought or believed to be true about me.
After I make something that no one I know has ever seen before -- like this painted and beaded drink umbrella -- I'm always shocked when they ooh and aah over it. I used to think the shock meant I was surprised that they liked it so much. Now I think differently. Now I think my feeling is really a sudden -- and shocking -- awareness that other people can see my communion with the Spirit. When I'm making something like this umbrella I am in the Little Day state of living without regard for what anyone else thought or believed to be true about me. When I show it, I'm in the state of Grown-Up Day. Or... I'm stuck between the two worlds of the artist... the free Child and the grounded Adult... I'm aware of how the item might look to someone else, but I'm also aware of the Bliss that helped create it. Sometimes I feel a little embarrassed that I showed so much of my soul to the world.
I like the quote I started with because I so believe it to match my mission in life... not just in art, but in teaching, in parenting, in loving Tom, in being a friend. I want to do all of those things as the free Child in happy abandon, completely and authentically without a blip of a care for what other people think or believe to be true about me.
I remember sitting at the round table with scraps of fabric and coming out with dance costumes. I miss those days, and am happy you can still tap into them. :-)
ReplyDeleteVERY mysterious! Who is that?
ReplyDeleteDaisy, this is amazing--I love the music, the blog, the writing, the art--so colorful, so you! Nana says she has the original fashion drawings you made back then. You are beautiful! mom
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