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Okay... I am a competitive person

For years, if someone asked (and even if they didn't), I'd say, quite proudly, "I am not a competitive person."  But, as I look at this awesome crystal trophy and think about all the hours of practice and planning I put into the event I just participated in, I think it's time to face the facts.  

My name is Day Anna Leary and I am a competitive person.

It's been about five minutes since I admitted that to myself and I don't think I'm too comfortable with the idea.  Growing up in Southwest Texas, I think it was probably better for a boy to call himself competitive than a girl, or at least somewhere along the way I grabbed a hold of that idea.  If you were a competitive girl you joined the choir with an incredible voice... or you went to softball practice every day.  You joined beauty contests thinking you'd probably win.  I never did any of those things.  

I ran for offices of any clubs I joined because other people saw something in me, not because I was looking for the spotlight.  I signed up for a beauty contest because it looked fun!  I didn't have a magical voice that guaranteed me a medal -- or even a chance at one.  I didn't even like softball.  The mere idea of a ball being slung at a spot fairly near my face seemed preposterous to me.  

And then came a seminar called Women as Leaders.  I had to compete with all of the other collegiate women leaders in Texas to get one of two spots to come to Washington for a two week celebration of female power.  And I won.  I guess that's when the seed got planted, when I first encountered the idea that achieving at the expense of someone else NOT was... um... a rush!

Then, stuff stuff stuff... fit that secret thrill back into the box from which it snuck and slide it under the bed!  

And now there's Toastmasters with it's twice monthly mini-competitions and twice yearly big ones.  And for the past two big contest seasons I have competed and loved it.  At first I felt embarrassed to enjoy being better than other people.  I felt silly holding a trophy as though I somehow deserved it more than someone else.

But, today as I admit this tiny part of who I am... as I embrace the fact that I am a competitive person... I understand that the reason I love competing isn't the medal or the crystal trophy... it's having a measurable reason to work as hard as I possibly can to be the best that I can possibly be and find out at the end how I stacked up.  And, as I stood in the front of the room of Toastmasters accepting this trophy I realized that that's the same reason most of us were competing and that win or lose we all got the reward we came for... a test of ability.


Comments

  1. LindaMay 15, 2010 at 10:50 PM

    Day, I love reading your blog! I just got home from Specht's--had a delicious salmon with Pam and Kate. And the first thing I did when I got home was go to your blog. It makes me happy. It brings tears. It is SO YOU! You are the number one trophy daughter in the world!

    ReplyDelete
  2. KirstenMay 18, 2010 at 2:25 PM

    Why did I feel there was a section about me? I am competitive and proud of it. As we grow we get competitive in different ways, sometimes more subtly. I am glad you have found the joy in competition, as well as in co-operation.

    I love your blog and am so happy to have found the link.

    ReplyDelete

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