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Domesticated Self

What a strange thing to consider... that we have domesticated ourselves, tamed our Selves to fit into this culture of other tamed Souls.  We've sold away the wildness and stumblings and colorful details that make us unique in favor of walking a straight line and talking quietly or more than we feel like talking all for the questionable benefit of fitting in.

We say, "This right HERE is who I am and have always been and will always be.  If I dream a dream of being different, I should tuck that Self away to be glimpsed only on those dark days of looking for a way to not feel lost."  Glimpsed but not embraced because embracing would mean changing in a public way... would mean maybe sacrificing our place on the orchestrated skyline of other people.

Again from YEARNINGS by Irwin Kula:

"As cognitive scientists are now discovering, the notion of a single enduring self is just a way to describe how we've temporarily domesticated our inner world.  Identity is just a provisional arrangement.  Our self is really a container for our multiplicity.  It is a resting place, a makom; yet another name for God.  Nonetheless we yearn for that place to be permanent; to feel an inner coherence and completion; to feel settled down and rooted."

We like to be that same person day after day because we mistake sameness for security, predictability for comfort.  I like the idea that we are actually containers for our multiplicity.

To me, that part is not as much a challenge as this: finding a way to allow for other people's multiple selves to exist without my judgment or reproach.  To me if everyone else stays the same, I can predict my role.  I can plan better.  I can be the one to change and grow and color myself a million colors.

I am sad that I am so selfish.  I am hopeful that I can change that.

Comments

  1. PamMay 25, 2010 at 9:53 AM

    I had that same dream when I was in my mid thirties, getting a divorce, and moving back to San Antonio without a clue as to how proceed. Somehow, Daisy, we are always provided for. If there were one message I could emblazon on the heart and soul of the world it would be to trust-self, the Universe, God-"all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all shall be very well"! Hildegard de Bingen

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