Skip to main content

I Am Not Made of Glass


I am not made of glass.  I am made of guts and bones and lots of I-Dare-You-To.  I am made of spark and fire, of inner structures that bend and groan, but rarely shatter.  I am made of tender oases of welcoming kindness and verdant pastures of Leave-Me-Alone.  

I am not made of glass.  

Today these are the words that I write after a day of feeling bitterness toward another adult who bullied and pushed, who took care of business at my expense.  I spent a good deal of last night and another good gobble of today announcing my injury and licking my exposed cuts.  

Then, I went to the bookstore, read books, and drank hot chocolate. I opened books by Wayne Dyer that reminded me that I am NOT my reputation.  I opened books by other artists and remembered that being me is not contingent on being well-received.  I came home and never answered the ringing phone.  I worked on my altered book, painted an old doll I found, and played with papier mache.  I watched a movie, ate a sandwich, and found my Self waiting for me to just be quiet so I could remember...

I am not made of glass.

Comments

  1. PamOctober 26, 2010 at 11:42 PM

    Not having any idea what transpired between you and "the other adult", but experience has shown me bad behavior is often an attempt to cover up a fear. I have wondered how the faculty of this school would feel when the likes of you showed up with your mountain of energy, enthusiasm, and creativity. Those who have been at the game a little longer could feel threatened by this young whippersnapper with her good ideas and bucket loads of energy. At some level their behavior is a compliment-left handed though it may be...you did the right thing. A trip to a bookstore always cures what ails me...wishing you a great tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Read This if You Don't Like the Word Pee

   Okay... so I think I nearly broke the toilet from plopping down on it so hard to go pee.  WHY did I plop instead of coming in for my usual graceful landing?  Because my best friend encouraged me to go to the gym and take her weight lifting class... and because I did it... and because she's so darn encouraging that I tried to show off how MOST people who don't go to the gym for four months would really stink their first time back... but not me!  I decided that I should prove that I am a superhero who can skip the gym for four months and come in looking fresh and fit and strong as an ox... okay, okay... an ox that can lift a 2kg dumbell.  I decided that these sleeping muscles could SURELY do just as many squats as that cute 60 year old woman in the front row whose gluteus maximus muscles look nice and bouncy. I'm just going to have to be deliberate about which chairs I go to sit in today.  Spindly antique ones are definitely NOT my best option. ...
3 comments
Read more

Undivided Self

Palmer describes two teachers, one who found joy and success in his career, and another who did not.  He attributed the joyful teacher's success to the idea that he taught "from an undivided self."  He says, "In the undivided self, every major thread of one's life experience is honored, creating a weave of such coherence and strength that it can hold students and subject as well as self."  The other teacher, on the other hand, projected his inner warfare onto his students.  The joyful teacher enjoyed craft, while the sour teacher enjoyed nothing.  The joyful teacher was "enlarged" by his teaching.  The sour teacher was diminished. As teachers we are either the joyful teacher OR the sour teacher.  We have days, maybe even weeks, of being the joyful teacher and days of being the sour one.  In my personal experience, when I am actually in the room teaching students I am the joyful one 95% of the time.  When I leave the room and enter the rest of...
1 comment
Read more

Altered Books and Journaling

We English teachers usually believe that the WORD, the combination of  letters into meaning,  is the most important tool in the box. In an effort to document my belief that it may be time to consider that  there are other tools that help students  make meaning out of their lives,  out of what they read, out of what they think... I offer this slide show. Perhaps the literacy toolbox could be expanded. I say this knowing that some kids, like my oldest son, might balk... but also knowing that other kids, like my youngest son, would sing arias of found comfort and joy. Maybe next to the words and sentences, some kids could find color  and shape and sticky-stuff...  maybe cuttings and doodles and sketches... This slide show exhibits a visual reading journal using a traditional  text entry and  a webbed entry.  It also shows some altered books.
1 comment
Read more